


Scream

by blakefancier



Category: Blake's 7
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-26
Updated: 2011-04-26
Packaged: 2017-10-18 17:10:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/191238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blakefancier/pseuds/blakefancier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It hurts to breathe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scream

I know more than they think. I know that they watch me, always watch me. They ask what I remember. Do I remember?

I remember my mother. Holding her hand, her skin dry and warm. I remember the rattle in her throat as she died and the pain that made it hard to breathe.

It hurt to breathe.

I remember things I shouldn't. I don't tell them. When they ask if I remember I say no. No, I don't remember being ill.

But who can forget the screaming that became a rattle in my throat. I did not die though the pain made it hard to breathe.

It hurt to breathe.

*****

It hurts to breathe. All I can think is, Gan. Gan, you were worth a hundred of me.

You were worth every heart beat and every breath of me. And I tried but I failed. And all that's left is another memory and the pain that makes the breath rattle in my throat.

*****

She flared out like a dying star. I know she did.

I pretend that I saw her, that I was looking out at the sky when she died. But I wasn't.

Now all I can do is lie in bed and struggle to breathe. My lungs burn as they struggle against the weight on my chest.

She had promised to be careful. She had promised to come back.

Each rattle speaks of broken promises.

Breathe in and then out, breathe in and then out. She lied and then she lied, she lied and then she lied.

And I should be inured to the pain.

But I'm not.

*****

Not a rattle but a gurgle. Blood in my lungs. It doesn't matter. All my mouth can form is Avon. Avon, Avon, Avon.

I want to be numb. Couldn't he have shot me in the head?

Why didn't he stop my struggle for breath sooner?

At least this isn't my memory.

Avon, I want to ask, does it hurt to breathe?


End file.
